lordcheshire:

boy: so u got any fantasies??

me: ok so im 28, financially stable, living in a nice apartment and i dont hate myself and i have a job and also a dog

captainsnoop:

captainsnoop:

the idea that people nowadays are more sensitive and easy to offend than they were in the past is such horseshit. people used to throw hands if you stepped on their shadow and calling a person a coward was legally justifiable grounds for them to challenge you to a duel with pistols.

since some people are having trouble understanding what i meant here, i would like to clarify that i am 100% mocking the hypocrisy of people who idolize the “good old days when people weren’t offended by everything” and then turn around and whine about how sjws are ruining their lives

if you’re whining about sjws in the comments of this post please know that i am making fun of you and that the old white relative you idolize for “giving no fucks” probably cried himself to sleep last night when he saw an interracial couple in a target commercial 

Bad as

In the fiery house of hell 

Her deadpan emotions don’t sell

The story of the throbbing welt

His anger flared into to a yell

She shuts her eyes, closes her mind

Slippery slope, she cannot float

Abandoned hope, she cannot cope

No anecdote so without a note

She tightens the rope around her throat

To be free

During the blackness of the night

He takes advantage of her right

The twisted sheets become un-white  

Paralyzed she cannot take flight

She shuts her eyes, closes her mind

Slippery slope, she cannot float

Abandoned hope, she cannot cope

No anecdote so without a note

She tightens the rope around her throat

To be free

She dreams of being an halcyon at sea

Fluttering to the wind’s calm harmony

An illusion out of reach

Slippery slope, she cannot float

Abandoned hope, she cannot cope

No anecdote so without a note

She tightens the rope around her throat

To be free

An illusion within reach

To be free

mothguys:

The capybara was the world’s largest rodent until I was born